Here’s an uncomfortable truth: we’re losing. Not because we’re not capable, smart, or strong enough, but because we don’t always have each other’s backs. While men have long mastered the art of the “boys’ club,” women too often find ourselves in competition with one another instead of collaboration.
This has to change.
Divided, We Fall
In every space—work, relationships, even social circles—women are often pitted against each other. Sometimes it’s subtle: the comparisons, the gossip, the underlying sense that there’s only room for one of us at the table. Other times, it’s blatant. Either way, it’s a distraction that keeps us from focusing on the bigger picture.
While we’re busy competing, men are strategizing together, sharing resources, and lifting each other up. The result? They win the game because we’re too busy playing against our own team.
The Myth of Scarcity
Part of the problem is this toxic idea that there’s only so much success, love, or opportunity to go around. If one woman gets the promotion, we think, That’s one less spot for me. If one woman is thriving in her relationship, it can feel like a reflection of what we’re lacking.
This scarcity mindset is a lie. There’s enough room for all of us. In fact, when one of us wins, it creates more opportunities for others.
Collaboration Over Competition
Imagine what we could achieve if we prioritized collaboration instead of competition. What if, instead of undercutting one another, we:
- Shared opportunities and resources
- Celebrated each other’s successes
- Called out unfair treatment, not just for ourselves but for other women
- Mentored, supported, and cheered each other on
The truth is, our real power lies in unity. When women work together, we’re unstoppable.
Call Out the System, Not Each Other
The system thrives when we’re divided. If we’re too busy criticizing one another, we won’t notice the barriers keeping us down. Instead of blaming other women, let’s focus on dismantling the structures that benefit from our division.
Start Where You Are
This shift doesn’t require some grand movement. It starts with small, intentional actions:
- Speak positively about other women.
- Offer a helping hand when someone’s struggling.
- Refuse to engage in gossip or petty behavior.
When you see another woman succeeding, remind yourself that her win is your win too.
The Bottom Line
We’re not losing because we’re not good enough. We’re losing because we’re not united. The minute we start working together—really working together—we’ll stop playing small and start reshaping the world.
Ladies, it’s time to build our own club.